Do You Need Approval?

So Why Do You Need Approval?

Someone once said, “no matter who you are or what you did; there will always be somebody who will not approve of you. So don’t try to live your life trying to please everybody.”

As babies we want to get attention, so we smile or laugh and make others laugh back at us. When they don’t give us attention we cry and then for sure we get it.

As we grow older we get a bit more sophisticated– if we don’t get love, attention, approval or acknowledgement, we break things in the house, or we “accidentaly” spill milk on the floor, or we forget to take the dog for a walk and voila – the stink and the mess on the carpet gets us a LOT of attention.

Then we do things and we want people to agree with us–to tell us it was accepted, beautiful, that it was OK, and that we are wonderful. We dress a certain way, drive a certain car, behave a certain way, all with the intention to create some effect on people. When we fail to create an effect we tend to feel unworthy, little, unimportant etc. We are motivated by words of praise by accolades (an award or privilege granted as a special honor or as an acknowledgment of merit).

There’s nothing wrong with liking to hear compliments or a good word of support. These are all wonderful. But NEEDING praises is a different matter. Looking for approval before we move; needing the approval to exist a certain way… Where does it lead us? Whose life are we eventually living? Ours or the lives of those whose approval we need?

Therefore to live your life, to be who you are and who you want to be–the only approval you need is from yourself. Don’t wait for another to approve of you as there will always be one that won’t like what you do, how you conduct your life, what choices you make.

Be true to yourself. Don’t wait for others to give you the OK to live or how to live.

You are here! You have already gotten a driver’s license. Don’t wait for others to drive you around; you don’t know where they’ll take you and where you’ll end up.

You be the driver of your own car. Set goals, set targets, get in your car and drive on.

Go to places you want to see, drive fast or slow; don’t stop to ask people whether your driving is acceptable or if your choices are approved. Follow your own heart, follow your passion and those who don’t approve will be just another traffic light on your way to your destination.

Remember! The most successful people in the history never asked permission to follow their quest, never listened to those who disagreed with their path. They kept on going, stepping on a few stones here and there but never lost track of their path and destination.

“So don’t try to live your life trying to please everybody.” (excerpt from I Hate to Say Goodbye.)

Ruti Yudovich recently released her first novel, based on her early years in Israel. She is the author of an educational book: more on her works can be found at and

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